1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I
drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow
you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it
or get out of the way.
3. You say our lakes smell to you. They smell like money to
us. Get over it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are
coming in; we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better
hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat walleye & northern pike and love it. You
really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's
a Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first
of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,
regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order
steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
pound of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:
meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion,
Pepper, and Garlic!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet,
and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house,
she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and
have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as
the Lakers and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to
watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards --it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try St. Olaf, Augsburg, Gustavus, Concordia, or St.
John's. They come outta there with an education plus a love
for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups
when they come home for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines, than any other state, so "Don't screw with Minnesota.
If you do, you will get whipped by the best."
Minnesota is the greatest state ever!! If you are from
Minnesota and you do not forward this to all your friends in
10 minutes, you are not a true Minnesotan. |